Why fear of rejection shouldn’t stop you from making the first move – For Women

Men have always been content to do the chasing, to relentless pursue romantic interest in a woman they fancy.

And women seem very at ease with this default setting, too. The ‘men are like predators, they like hunting’ narrative has been left to flourish unhindered for as long as we know.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, except that times have changed and in an increasingly sexually-liberated society like ours, it has become acceptable to not have to wait for men to make that first move all the time.

You see, ladies, there’s a problem inherent with being attracted to a guy and hoping that he’ll somehow, magically find out.

You could cook him homemade meals, make yourself available whenever he needs you and do other stuff that should make him ‘get it,’ but he still won’t.

He most likely won’t, except you make your hints abundantly clear, in which case he still may not, except you literally tell him.

Like, spell it out like this – “Chinedu, I really like you” – the exact way you’d expect a guy to come clean with you, instead of beating around the bush and dancing around the subject for too long.

Many men are notoriously incapable of catching a hint even if it perches on their nose. And then there are some who are just so shy.

Aside this, many men have admitted that there’s something charming and hot about being asked out by a woman. It might as well be added to the list of fantasies many guys look to experience at some point of their lives.

Should sexual fantasies have a place in marriages. Should sexual fantasies have a place in marriages.

The idea that a woman finds them attractive enough to put aside the fear of rejection is pretty heady for many of them.

And talking about the fear of rejection, this is the biggest reason why women shy away from making the first move on guys.

The idea that a guy will say no, that he’ll turn them down is too much of a hit to what some women refer to as their ‘feminine pride.’

And it’s pretty ironic, given how a lot of women often speak of their admiration for men who know what they like and how to go after it, despite the obvious possibility of being curved.

Another deterring factor for many women is the fear that asking out a guy will make him start ‘feeling himself.’

Women deep in thought. Women deep in thought.

So they’ll rather not act on that attraction instead of fuelling a guy’s ego who will even end up saying no to their flirtatious moves.

Admittedly there exists a working structure to this romance thing which works and which everyone seems to like, and which will likely remain in place till the end of time – guys chasing women, and women happy to prolong this with well-rehearsed curves.

However, it is OK to turn things on its head, to be the one chasing and opening up yourself to the possibility of being curved.

As there’s a chance of being rejected, so is there a chance of getting the guy. In fact, there’s a greater chance a guy will say yes than no.

It’s basically like everything else in life you want. You’ll either succeed at it or not.

You either get curved or get yourself a great guy and a beautiful relationship.

I believe in the latter than the former.